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  • Writer's pictureJafei Pollitt

DAY #2 Acrostic Poetry: Word Suggestions From My Family Members

(This form is the well known, kindergarten Acrostic Poetry. I took words from my family members and put them to use. Some of them really tried to give me something to work with, and to no avail, they all failed; but nevertheless, I persisted.)

P.S. I know that some of the sentences extend too long and cut off to another line, but I promise you they all fit when I wrote them in Arial, 11 point font in Google Docs. So this is on WordPress, not me.

DJEMBE Darn tootin’ Jeeeeeeesuz oh lord I am confused as a gator on a golf course! E’rybody keeps saying “DJEMBE” and I keep sayin’ “WHO?” Maybe it’s a new drug them kids are sucking up through those electronic straws Beat’s me. Mabel keeps tellin’ me it’s a doohickey from Africa, but Even I know that’s nuts! I bet it’s a new sex-bot-m’jig for those millennial types.

SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS So, my cousin gave me this word Under the assumption that I wouldn’t actually use it to write a real poem for the world. Perhaps he thought “This will end as a simple joke through the cousin group chat, Everyone knows that to take on such a word would be ridiculous and a waste.” Rather like the word… itself? Classic Alex, you fool. Although I commend you for your bravery for trying to out-funny me Let’s not forget who you’re talking to and how far I’m willing to take a joke (way too far.) In another life, I would have let this slide and gone back to my boring accounting job Forgetting that I even wanted to write a poem because I like math not words Rejoicing that I have a half-eaten, soggy subway sandwich sitting in the breakroom. And in this other world,  I don’t add semi-inappropriate input at family dinners Get just a *little* too drunk at Jordan’s wedding (sorry Jordan!) and Insist everyone get family tattoos after grandpa’s funeral (I love taking it too far!) Let’s step back for a second. I need to make these sentences shorter So it actually looks like a poem. There. It’s shorter. Classic Alex. Eat my words. I only have 13 more letters. X-ray Pretty easy, that one. I might just skip a few for artistic integrity and originality A L I Didn’t see that coming did you? Oh, what’s that? I’m skipping some more? C I O Uh-oh, one more letter left! Suck it.

PINK Pink butthole Icky bootyhole Naked feces releaser Koala’s asshole

BANANA Bad news folks. Bananas are going extinct. And it gets worse! Nothing is going to exist past 2100 (probably.) And wait! Next, we’re going to see Yellowstone explode! And Ape’s will get smarter and overrule us.

CATS Creative types, my parents. All about “art” and “being happy” Truly, I do not understand that kind of thinking. Real adults are S-A-D. Sad!

POOP Perhaps this is the answer to all our questions. Our final destination. The one thing that brings all life together. One act that defines our purpose on earth. Pooping.

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